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sponsored chicks

  Occasionally, hatchlings arrive into the world with special or unique circumstances.  We do our best to rehabilitate these chicks and introduce them to flocks of their peers, once they're old or fit enough to do so. 

  Some singletons fail to integrate, however, and these birds become residents. 

  Resident chicks are privately educated at our on-site boarding school and housed in climate-controlled dormitories. 

  Upon graduation, these chicks receive permanent, private housing and free-range status, allowing them to pursue their own interests and forge their own friendships.

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  This program is entirely satirical, but the chicks and exclusive perks are real.

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  Sponsor a chick to receive an exclusive t-shirt that's not available in our store, bi-weekly updates, and occasional extras we'd rather not spoil.

rated ris

"Barking Bitch Music Festival," "Burnt Bottom Bakery," "Chicken Lips Cosmetics Company," "Honey Ham's Real Pit BBQ,"  "Green Grass Gazette,"

"Grown Girl Athletic Association,""Mach-5 Coffee Company," "Mother Clucker's Easter Egg Manufacturing Company," "Nanny Boo-Boo Urgent Care," "Rated Ris," "Scapegoats PLUS,""Shitbird Security Services," "the Water Bowl-a-Rama" are trademarks of chicks+bitches livestock company®

​chicks+bitches Livestock company is a registered trademark.

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©2025 by the beanstalk farm™ LLC

All rights reserved.

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